![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a few days ago i read a post someone wrote about life before social media, what people did to alleviate boredom and such. he talked about how being a kid in the 90s before the endless content slew, people were bored all the time, but that's how they found shit to do. it got me thinking about how boredom as a concept doesn't exist for me anymore. when i was a kid it felt like there was too much time, so i was constantly finding things to do to pass that time. i'd play manhunt, hop fences, catch bugs and mess around in mud if it rained or try to make mud by spitting into the dirt when it didn't and i did all of this because i was bored. nowadays it feels like there's not enough time, almost like i'm working against it to get shit done, yet i'm never bored due to the aforementioned ever-seductive endless content slew.
then i had a pretty stark realization. i've spent more time sifting through content online than i ever did playing during recess in elementary school. my fondest memories are from 2nd-5th grade, and though it's been a while since then i can still remember specific instances-- injuries from tussling with older kids, almost getting caught taking a piss in some stranger's overgrown yard, that kind of thing. the whole covid thing hit when i was just starting middle school and from then on it feels like i can barely remember anything 'cept the fact that i wasn't bored.
in all the time i've spent online, i can count all my truly important discoveries on one hand. social media is attractive because it's lowbrow and easily-digestible but there comes a point in being online when you realize "i'm not having fun, i'm just passing the time" and then it's just fucking depressing thinking about how much you've dedicated to things that don't matter. at least that's how it feels to me. the next realization i had was how being online has killed my imagination. daydreaming, once a constant in my life, disappeared without notice. seventy-five tiktoks an hour (thank God i don't have that app anymore) and about a gazillion tweets constantly german-suplexing my cerebral cortex means i'm rarely ever alone with my thoughts. i miss downtime, i miss being bored for once and i miss keeping a clear head. coasting off this constant dopamine rush isn't natural-- isn't a life. i want to read more, get out more, further my education and salvage what's left of my mind. i'm really going to.
then i had a pretty stark realization. i've spent more time sifting through content online than i ever did playing during recess in elementary school. my fondest memories are from 2nd-5th grade, and though it's been a while since then i can still remember specific instances-- injuries from tussling with older kids, almost getting caught taking a piss in some stranger's overgrown yard, that kind of thing. the whole covid thing hit when i was just starting middle school and from then on it feels like i can barely remember anything 'cept the fact that i wasn't bored.
in all the time i've spent online, i can count all my truly important discoveries on one hand. social media is attractive because it's lowbrow and easily-digestible but there comes a point in being online when you realize "i'm not having fun, i'm just passing the time" and then it's just fucking depressing thinking about how much you've dedicated to things that don't matter. at least that's how it feels to me. the next realization i had was how being online has killed my imagination. daydreaming, once a constant in my life, disappeared without notice. seventy-five tiktoks an hour (thank God i don't have that app anymore) and about a gazillion tweets constantly german-suplexing my cerebral cortex means i'm rarely ever alone with my thoughts. i miss downtime, i miss being bored for once and i miss keeping a clear head. coasting off this constant dopamine rush isn't natural-- isn't a life. i want to read more, get out more, further my education and salvage what's left of my mind. i'm really going to.
Tags:
From:
no subject