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in march of last year i started keeping track of my dreams in my notes app to the best of my ability. since then i've collected a few dreams (whether mundane or exceptionally odd) for nearly every month of these last two years. here's a highlight reel i compiled of a few that i found particularly funny or interesting.
dec. 4th 2022:
my father and i were hitching a ride with some space pirates. i think we were pretending to also be space pirates so we could get to a specific destination for free, and we boarded this space pirate ship which resembled a really big cargo truck. eventually the real space pirates found out we were lying and threatened to boot us off their ship, but i said "nuh-uh!" and dug out some spare change from my pocket that i would pay them off with. mind you, the spare change in question amounted to two bucks total and a piece of string. when i was about to hand it over to the space pirates i noticed some of the coins were special commemorative prints and had special patterns on them, so i retracted three coins from my offer and the space pirates were still like "fiiiiiiine" and flew us to our destination. i guess two dollars goes further in space than it does on earth.
may. 20th 2023:
i mollywhopped a kid in my school in broad daylight right outside the entrance, and the whole thing was caught on the surveillance cameras so things were not looking too good for me. i refused to apologize for doing it so i got suspended but i really didn't want my family to find out so i intercepted the school's emails and continued to go to school anyway by sneaking in.
at some point the school caught on to what i was doing and sent me away to go to this other school that was situated in this tall civic building which was connected to a mcdonald's. this new school only had one class for everything, almost like back in elementary or something. now the guy teaching us was a real character. several times a day he would make us all duck under our desks while he fired an array of projectile weapons in our general direction and we always had to leave the classroom in a very specific formation because he apparently tapped the classroom floor with land mines that would blow us to smithereens if we made a misstep.
may. 31st 2023:
i was on a train with david bowie and he was dressed like the ziggy stardust persona, no eyebrows and all. we were trying to calculate the distance of the platform from the vehicle, and whether it would kill me if i jumped out of the train while it was going at high speeds. bowie assured me i would probably live, but then said something like "don't count on it, i'm not good at math." and told me that's why he was an english major instead. when i woke up i immediately went to google if he really was an english major, half-convinced that my subconscious somehow had a store of david bowie facts i was oblivious to. as it turns out he actually studied arts and design.
aug. 13th 2023:
i saw a bunch of cowboys with their horses in front of a thrift store. the horses were eating from troughs full of ice cream, and the cowboys let me pet their horses and feed them ice cream with a little plastic spoon. before i left the thrift store, i found an old shirt from some sort of gig that had depeche mode, bikini kill, and minor threat on the lineup. i remember being real confused at that, finding the choice of bands odd in conjunction with each other, and especially since minor threat had already broken up long before bikini kill's debut in the 90s.
nov. 5th 2023:
i talked to an old friend from way back, whom i haven't consistently spoken to in years. he told me i was being an idiot back in 2020 when we last consistently kept in contact. he was right, of course, even the mention of how i was three years ago made me wince. i agreed, and asked him if he still went to church. i always found this particular dream odd because i'm not even sure if he was religious. apparently that was something we never talked about in real life. i know i'm not religious. i've only been in a church maybe three times in my life, and it wasn't for worship reasons. why did i ask him about church?
dec. 1st 2023:
i was buying a laptop at an electronics store and I ended up adopting a large black-and-white tomcat for free by redeeming store credit. i don't remember what else happened in this specific one, but black-and-white cats are a recurring theme in my dreams. the first time i dreamt of one was back in march of 2022. and he could talk!
dec. 4th 2022:
my father and i were hitching a ride with some space pirates. i think we were pretending to also be space pirates so we could get to a specific destination for free, and we boarded this space pirate ship which resembled a really big cargo truck. eventually the real space pirates found out we were lying and threatened to boot us off their ship, but i said "nuh-uh!" and dug out some spare change from my pocket that i would pay them off with. mind you, the spare change in question amounted to two bucks total and a piece of string. when i was about to hand it over to the space pirates i noticed some of the coins were special commemorative prints and had special patterns on them, so i retracted three coins from my offer and the space pirates were still like "fiiiiiiine" and flew us to our destination. i guess two dollars goes further in space than it does on earth.
may. 20th 2023:
i mollywhopped a kid in my school in broad daylight right outside the entrance, and the whole thing was caught on the surveillance cameras so things were not looking too good for me. i refused to apologize for doing it so i got suspended but i really didn't want my family to find out so i intercepted the school's emails and continued to go to school anyway by sneaking in.
at some point the school caught on to what i was doing and sent me away to go to this other school that was situated in this tall civic building which was connected to a mcdonald's. this new school only had one class for everything, almost like back in elementary or something. now the guy teaching us was a real character. several times a day he would make us all duck under our desks while he fired an array of projectile weapons in our general direction and we always had to leave the classroom in a very specific formation because he apparently tapped the classroom floor with land mines that would blow us to smithereens if we made a misstep.
may. 31st 2023:
i was on a train with david bowie and he was dressed like the ziggy stardust persona, no eyebrows and all. we were trying to calculate the distance of the platform from the vehicle, and whether it would kill me if i jumped out of the train while it was going at high speeds. bowie assured me i would probably live, but then said something like "don't count on it, i'm not good at math." and told me that's why he was an english major instead. when i woke up i immediately went to google if he really was an english major, half-convinced that my subconscious somehow had a store of david bowie facts i was oblivious to. as it turns out he actually studied arts and design.
aug. 13th 2023:
i saw a bunch of cowboys with their horses in front of a thrift store. the horses were eating from troughs full of ice cream, and the cowboys let me pet their horses and feed them ice cream with a little plastic spoon. before i left the thrift store, i found an old shirt from some sort of gig that had depeche mode, bikini kill, and minor threat on the lineup. i remember being real confused at that, finding the choice of bands odd in conjunction with each other, and especially since minor threat had already broken up long before bikini kill's debut in the 90s.
nov. 5th 2023:
i talked to an old friend from way back, whom i haven't consistently spoken to in years. he told me i was being an idiot back in 2020 when we last consistently kept in contact. he was right, of course, even the mention of how i was three years ago made me wince. i agreed, and asked him if he still went to church. i always found this particular dream odd because i'm not even sure if he was religious. apparently that was something we never talked about in real life. i know i'm not religious. i've only been in a church maybe three times in my life, and it wasn't for worship reasons. why did i ask him about church?
dec. 1st 2023:
i was buying a laptop at an electronics store and I ended up adopting a large black-and-white tomcat for free by redeeming store credit. i don't remember what else happened in this specific one, but black-and-white cats are a recurring theme in my dreams. the first time i dreamt of one was back in march of 2022. and he could talk!
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